Grief

By Maeghan Rybka

No one tells you how lonely it is to grieve;
your full vibrant life becomes a dull solitary place.
You keep thinking back over the regrets,
I should have called more often
or said hello when I saw you in that store.
Guilt and sadness overwhelm the senses.
Millions of people have had a similar loss,
but they didn’t experience your loss,
they didn’t know the quirks and idiosyncrasies you loved.
The calls at midnight because they were excited about something,
waking you from a dead sleep in a panic.
And the hugs that lift you off the ground
and squeeze the air from your lungs.
You don’t mean to, but you push people away
because you live in your head and your guilt and regret.
It is a constant struggle of trying to act “normal”.
If you act too sad people don’t want to be around you,
but if you aren’t sad you feel like you are doing it wrong.
Breathe in and out, repeat.
It will get easier.

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