Moments of Clarity: Destined to be Cool

By Kyle Delnegro

I just found out the show “The Voice” involved singing. I thought it was about a paranoid schizophrenic.

Whenever I see a fire, I immediately throw a brick though a window because all of those signs say “In case of fire, break glass.”

I was running two miles a day for a while, but then they chained up that damn dog.

One day, the internet will become real life and real life will become the internet. Mothers everywhere will yell at their children to quit playing outside and get back to Facebook.

I may only be one man, but I could eat enough chicken nuggets to feed like 30 little kids.

Hemingway vs. Faulkner was the first Biggie vs. Tupac.

I’m trilingual. I’ll try any language once.

Isn’t it weird that street-sweepers are really just big toothbrushes for the road?