Terrible Twos

By Cree Adu

I’ve seen the strongest among men
Go mad with delirium
When faced with the wailing beast
The poor victims want to cry and have a lot of sleepless nights
Wary of the monster’s feast

Well, he’ll slob and he’ll screech
He’ll break everything within his reach
Leaving a trail of death and diapers in his wake
Running to try to catch him
Giggles, panting, and a lot of action
You pray to God for mercy and strength

The guts of innocent Gerber jars
Are scrapped out with his sharp claws
And the remains of his appetite are smeared across his chest
You begin to think:
Who can take on this wild demon?
Can I put this treachery to rest?

You Try.

Soon enough the devil subsides
When his sugar rush energy dies
And all that’s left is your precious baby
But the destruction at the homestead has truly hit
A tornado of emotional regret
You should have called in for backup!

Where’s the Navy?!

A Las, this is now your war zone inside the castle
It’s your responsibility to domesticate the rascal
Let’s be real, who else on this earth can do so?
You love your baby, he’s not so bad!
Plus, he’s a spitting image of his Dad
And he’s pretty chill, as far as terrible twos go.